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The Lusty, Gusty Ol' Wind


Article # : 15166 

Section : LIFE
Issue Date : 4 / 1989  1,481 Words
Author : Kathryn N. Hardin
Kathryn Hardin's humor articles first appeared nationwide thirty years ago. This Arkansas grandmother draws on her life, past and present, for her current anecdotes.

       Today, as a conversational gambit at social gatherings, the question "What's your sign?" has been replaced with "What's your element?"
       
        When I informed my husband of this, he said that if he went to a party where people asked him about his element, he'd know he was out of his element.
       
        Well, I know exactly what my element is, and I make it a point to seek out people who might want to know. But so far the usual questions I've been asked are "Have you tried the broccoli dip?" and "Where's the bathroom?"
       
        My element is air. Fire, earth, and water take a backseat to air as far as I'm concerned.
       
        I don't know how one's element is ascertained--whether one is born into it or chose it--but I revere air! Not just any air. I go for the clear, well-behaved, preferably moving kind. Lyall Watson's book Heaven's Breath--which I found to be every bit as fascinating as Gone with the Wind--points out that air has to be in motion to be effective. He states that winds are the circulatory and nervous systems of the earth, without which our planet could not function properly.
       
        This is also true in my personal relationship with air. I'm an asthmatic and when I'm in respiratory distress, I turn on ceiling and floor fans at full speed to assist me in my efforts to breathe. My husband claims that entering the master bedroom at such times is like going into a wind tunnel at the NASA research lab. He also says that he has to sleep with the bedclothes anchored down to keep them ... (1999 of 8092 Characters)
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